500daysofsummer
From 500 Days of Summer (2009)

 

Yep, it has been too long since I’ve written a post about relationships, so boom! Let the fun begin: no judgment here.

We have all been there: break-up rehab. Whether you did the breaking-up or you were the one broken-up-with, there is always that horrible period to endure where you attempt to rid yourself of the idea of what they were and what they could have been.

 

While I wish I could say that you should “get back on the horse” and stop moping around, well, I’m simply not going to. Moping has it’s time and it’s place and if you can’t mope after a break-up, when the heck can you mope?!

So, without further ado, here are my 3 ways for getting over a break-up, as tried and tested by me:

 

1. Watch Pride and Prejudice and 500 Days of Summer on repeat

Watching movies can be marvelously therapeutic for me. While I know that I should not fill my head with thoughts of Mr. Darcy and the all-too-handsome Joseph Gordon Levitt, I just can’t want to!

For me, nothing helps get over the idea of someone better than replacing that idea with another: even if they are fictional characters.

 

Personally, I love the Pride and Prejudice version with Kira Knightly. I know, I should like the BBC ‘true to the book version’, but honestly, who has 4 hours to kill and if I wanted something to be ‘like the book’, I would go and read the book.

 

As I get my comfy PJs on, make some microwave popcorn, and put a big bag of chocolate nearby, I know I’m in for a night of awesome moping. And you know what, I don’t regret a moment.

 

It all beings with Mr. Darcy, creating some ideology of a perfect man that probably doesn’t exist. But then, there is 500 Days of Summer to give me a realistic perspective on relationships. By the end of watching both movies back to back, having eaten all the popcorn and chocolate in my house, I can go to bed happy feeling like relationships are hopeless and I should never have wanted to be in one in the first place: silly girl.

 

Then I repeat this step until I’m done moping and move on to step 2. Whether these nonsensical ideas about men are true or not isn’t the point of Step 1. The point is to make yourself feel better until you can get all the way to ‘acceptance’.

 

2. Go out every week and do something AWESOME with friends and family

OK. So, things didn’t work out. But it’s all for the best right? Now, it’s important to reconnect with all of the awesome people that are already in your life! When you’re in a relationship it can be too easy to see friends and family less frequently. After a while, you might forget what it’s like to go anywhere without your boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

So, it’s time to cut that fish loose and just enjoy the company of the people you love WITHOUT looking for a replacement boyfriend. Enjoy being single. Remind yourself of who you were before the relationship and get to a place where you are happy with you again.

 

I’m not sure about you, but I love hanging out with my friends! There is nothing better than having a girls night out where I don’t have to glance at my phone expecting a text from ‘you know who’. Ah, sweet freedom.

 

This step is important because it helps you get over the habits you created within the relationship. It helps you get used to being single and reminds you that you aren’t alone. Single and lonely are NOT synonyms!!!

 

3. Meet new people and do new things!

Note I didn’t specify who these people are, and I did not use the word ‘date’. I simply think that, when you feel ready and happy, meeting new people is essential to the healing process.

This step can fill your life with more friends and it could even lead to a new possible relationship. But mostly, this step is not directed at ‘finding someone’. This step it to remind you that there are plenty of fish in the sea. The world is expansive and you’ve barely scratched its surface, so why dwell on the pond you left behind?

Get out on the open sea and rock the boat! Have a dance party! Go on, no one is watching!

Break your old routines! That is the only way you can leave room for something new and better in your life.

 

Alright. That is all I have for now. I hope this helps!

Now, go and do something awesome please!

 

–Nina Limardo

Author of I Am Mediaand Renegades Rising

 
Liked this post? Please share it with the buttons below.